“Idle dreaming is often of the essence of what we do”

I came across this quote when reading Tim Kreider's New York Times blog post entitled The 'Busy' Trap. I don't think I've read a more impacting article in years. Kreider is suggesting that the whole "I'm busy" phenomenon is a result of people privately fearing that most of what we do in life doesn't amount to much and we don't want people in on that secret. After reading, I'm ready to admit that I fall victim to this. I'm not sure it's because I don't value what I'm doing, but I don't want people to think I'm not working towards my big goals. In general, I'm not really concerned about what people think about me, but for some reason I do care if people know that I'm working my ass off. I worry that I'll lose the respect of people that I care for and appreciate if I actually told them "I'm not doing shit but watching TV and playing softball all day." I wanted those people to be comfortable knowing that I put in a full day's worth of writing, planning, executing and growing. And the reality is that ain't happening every day. Kreider's article showed me that I was projecting way more than necessary. There are days where I am literally doing nothing and privately don't feel bad about that. Then I realize that in those moments great ideas pop up. I've made discoveries about ways to improve my script, new ideas for films or other projects and oddly found things that make me productive (like blogging more). I guess what I'm trying to say is that allowing yourself the opportunity to be idle at times is actually a form of being productive much like what Kreider suggests. Making headway in your own production doesn't have to be found in the projections you give others, but rather what actually works best for you. It's OK to enjoy life and in turn life rewards you with new things to work on.

I feel liberated in a way.

Now let me get to this damn script.